Friday, January 29, 2010

Required reading

Book title: Lives of the Great Bloggers

In some far distant time, perhaps, when people want to learn about the hardships and tribulations of the past, they may wish to dip into a book about the great forgotten pioneers of our time.

I am not sure that Lives of the Great Tweeps passes the suspension of disbelief test, however.

Posted via web from Poor Poor Thing

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Restaurant concept for the 21st century

Restaurant name: Bistro QR


Instead of the the blue and white checkered tablecloths each table would have a QR code which the servers would scan at the time the order is taken. The food could be coded as well to ensure accuracy in delivering the courses as well.

Posted via web from Poor Poor Thing

Sunday, January 17, 2010

From the bowels of a secret scent laboratory

Implement of non-that-flashy destruction: Sub-Atomizer

They call it an atomizer, but does it properly render things into their individual atoms? Molecules maybe, or big clumps of molecules which fall apart much later by gaseous diffusion, but certainly not breaking any bonds that were there before. I want a real atomizer that will spit out free radicals like one one's business. No, better yet, I want a sub-atomizer that will take your basic drugstore scent and scrub it down to elementary particles and spew them out in a murderous stream if I want. Because that would be virile and noble and a little bit dangerous as well. Or in an improved version you could point it at something and it would render it down to its constituent nucleons and electrons, stimulating the protons to decay into horrible little positrons maybe so that it would fall apart into radioactive nothingness right then.

It would be a fearsome gadget to possess, but still an elegant one to look at, with its main chamber perhaps made of some semiprecious stone or cut crystal, and the part which does the puffing off to one side of the nozzle in a way that calls to mind some kind of casualness that the trigger of a gun or the fire button of a launch console clearly does not. To do its thing it would have to have some potent power source around, but that would be hidden so that it would keep its neat simple lines and its finesse as well, probably miniaturizing and condensing the thing so that it could be tucked into a corner of the reservoir or more likely embedded in the spray head somehow. It would be shielded, tamed, of alien provenance most probably, and worth more than battleships or research reactors, provided it could be something you actually could buy.

Who would know of the sub-atomizer, though, unless its devious amoral creator releases some information, not too much, about what it can do? But in publicity, as always, the more effective the buzz about the thing is the more perilous it is to have it around where curious types of low morals might try to liberate it for themselves. It would be more effective to broadcast a demonstration of its potential, showing how thoroughly it renders the armament of the superpowers obsolete all except for the think tanks working feverishly to reconstruct it in their own labs, if even in a perverted form.It does its best work in secret, but does not rely on sleight-of-hand or social hacking the way most pieces of malware on the Internet. It needs no master and very little language to accomplish what's in its nature, though it would be good to place trusted guards on it so that it can be kept from close inspection by the criminal brutes who understand only that it is new and valuable. They are not the kind of people who would want to deal with the non-sold-out mission, little impressed by the graphics that go along with it either.

(504 words)

Posted via web from Poor Poor Thing

Monday, January 11, 2010

It is better and it is my heart

Since New Year's eve I have been fighting with a bad cold that has progressed to bronchitis, which we have been treating with various drugs. Sunday morning I had a typically disturbed kind of sleep, waking up at 4 A.M. possibly because of the steroids I had been prescribed. I did make it back to sleep and woke at around my usual time a couple of hours later. There was one odd thing I noticed at the time, though, and that was the way my heart seemed to be racing, regardless of my trying to induce a relaxed mental state. I got up, had breakfast, took my medicines, and was just getting dressed to go out to the gym when I noticed a feeling of pressure around my chest. Going up a flight of stairs made me feel winded, and the rapid heartbeat was still unchanged from before. Time to ask my wife to drive me to the nearest emergency room.
It had been a couple of years since my last trip to the E.R. and the hospital we went to that time is not even in business any more now. We went to the very new facility at Englewood Hospital a couple of miles away and was soon set up with medications to treat the condition. After a few hours, I was set up in a room in the Cardiac Step-Down ward waiting for my heart to "flip" back over to a normal rhythm, or, failing that, schedule a cryoablation to reset it. I didn't know that a person's heart could fibrillate for twelve hours and still be alive, but now I do.
I spent the night and was released today after they had a chance to image the malfunctioning part with ultrasound, apparently not sustaining any permanent damage. I'm on a couple new prescriptions and advised to avoid going on a "bender" which can set this sort of thing off. Wilco. Also, pleased to be here.

Artrial fibrillation. from just leenarts on Vimeo.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the BCS trophy

Sooners! (Or possibly Cowboys of OK State or some such.) Perhaps I was the last to know.

Thor did indeed rebuild Asgard, in Oklahoma, and he embarked on a quest to liberate his fellow Asgardians who were trapped in mortal shells.
And here I thought a guy named Thor Odinson be up with his people among the fans of the Golden Gophers (though admittedly, the Marvel canon has been relatively silent on the latter). Stereotypes are so ugly and destructive, and do not ultimately account for the power of the great nemeses such as the Crimson Tide.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Entropy - it doesn't just happen

Axe Whatever Paste
Axe Whatever Paste,
originally uploaded by theimpulsivebuy.
What fools we were in the 1970s when we did not know that we needed a product like this to ensure that our hair looked messy, trusting instead to literal winds of chance, inadvertent bed-head (before that was a scientific term), and desperate self-barbering upon occasion. For if science has taught us anything, it's that one cannot trust nature to revert to disorder when one's (fashion) life might depend on it. I imagine that the Axe people have incorporated nanomachinery into their product to make sure that no two strands parallel one another over a significant distance, and perhaps a dab of adaptive optics to befuddle the hapless viewer's eye to see more of a fractal Medusa's nest than is practically possible to engineer in reality. Back in those days the mathematics of strange attractors was regrettably unavailable to describe the chaotic hair dynamics that is now understood to be essential to sustain modern standards of presentability.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

The eff word

Perfume name: In-eff-able

Were I to manufacture this, I would support it with a sleazy marketing campaign.

Posted via web from Poor Poor Thing

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Crisis averted for now

Name for the last decade: The kooky glasses era

Makers of novelty eyewear have had to be more inventive than usual this year because of the missing double-aughts in the middle of the year. I predict that next year the available strategems will prove to be too strained to come up with a viable marketable product.

Posted via web from Poor Poor Thing