War speak

A sort of syllogism:

• The people they are defending against over in Iraq are called insurgents.


• The proposed buildup in US troop level is being called a surge.


• Therefore, we might well refer to the additional troops as outsurgents.

Well, it's better than "surge-ans."

Vroom vroom

More along the lines of things stop working: my 2 year old electric toothbrush started acting weird the night before last.

So it's not just a matter of a short, which would have it running all of the time, or a broken wire, which might make it run none of the time. Instead, it's decided it wants to run all the time whenever it's away from its charger. How does that happen?

So now I pull the tip off while the thing is docked, smush a tiny amount of toothpaste on the brush part, then in one motion pick up the toothbrush and apply it to my teeth before the toothpaste starts flying all over. It still does that little pulse thing at the two minute mark, so the control electronics aren't completely fried. Then I've got to put the thing back on the charger so it'll shut down, pull the tip off for washing, then reassemble it. Or sometimes to avoid the hassle I go into the other bathroom and use my plain old non-electric brush (which would make my hygienist unhappy if she knew).

I was trying to think of some aspect whereby this new behavior might be an advantage, and the only thing I could come up with is that it would be considerably harder for a burglar to steal my toothbrush undetected. Otherwise, nothing.

Alternative Moon names

Did you know that there's a name for each full moon? I certainly didn't know about the existence of names beyond the old "hunter's moon" and "harvest moon," or that there were variations in the naming.

I came up with my own suggested list of names for this year:

1. January 3: Full Sobriety Moon


2. February 2: Full Steroid Moon XLI


3. March 3: Full Take The Storm Windows Down Moon


4. April 2: Full State and Federal Moon


5. May 2: Full International Conspiracy Moon


6. May 31: Free Extra-Special Bonus Moon


7. June 30: Full Are We There Yet? Moon


8. July 29: Full Spiked Lemonade Moon


9. August 28: Full Back-To-School Specials Moon


10. September 26: Full Talk Like A Pilot Moon


11. October 26: Full Goblin Turkey Moon


12. November 24: Full Who Let The Dogs Out?! Moon


13. December 23: Full Shopper's Freak-Out Moon

You are welcome to print this out and stick it to your refrigerator for handy reference.

www.PromHairstylesaccess.com has your name written all over it!

I updated my random domain script tool to take in the top 50 search terms for 2006 as reported by Lycos. (Previously)

Updated: Changed the links to my other site.

Combine and conquer

Compare the recommended techniques for playing with a piglet and with kids. I'm thinking that the ideal solution is to bring a piglet to one's babysitting assignment. "Best. Babysitter. EVAR."