Abstract Expressionist tattoos

I am disappointed not to be able to find examples of body art in homage to the giants of Abstract Expressionism. Neither color fields (Mark Rothko, Barnett Newman etc.), nor gestural tats (Jackson Pollock of course, or Willem de Kooning) turn up in my searches. I would think that California hard-edge monochromes (Ad Reinhardt and others) would be nearly ideal for the medium, say a bold patch of solid black across the chest, or maybe a subtle work where the recipient has been tattooed in the exact same color as their natural skin tone. Such a thing would be a pointed commentary on the experience of pain in the service of pure art.

I see a great need.

Note to Becks

beckham eau de toilette for men,
originally uploaded by mlindeboom.

David Beckham launched his “Instinct” eau de cologne last year. Now about that branding, David   I have a few little comments I would like to pass on:

• That name. Do not pick a fragrance name which ends in the syllable “stinct.” Note that this also would rule out “Extinct” and an Apple-sponsored line of cologne called the “iStinct.”
• The sports angle. Your strength is among football (soccer) fans so why not remind them of that? Try calling it “David Beckham's Header” or “Banana kick” (it would help if it smelled like bananas in the latter case).
• Scoring. Why not just name it “Goooooal?” Works for me. (See also this old post on my other blog.)
• The problem of sweat. There is this unfortunate association, not unfounded, between physical exercise and sweat, which works against the marketing. Maybe you should meet this head-on (of course), and go with a name like “Super-anti-sweat.” Though that makes a better name for an anti-perspirant, really
• Field fresh. Now to the smell of the stuff itself. Not so feeling enamored by this description:

  David Beckham Instinct is classified as an oriental, spicy fragrance and features top notes of orange, mandarin and italian bergamot; middle notes of cardamom, pimento and star anise and base notes of vetiver, white amber and patchouli.

  How about more fresh cut grass, pints of ale, and sunshine, and leave all that spice stuff for the missus?
• Posh. Speaking of whom, you should trust her judgment, in that she is a woman, and your target market is more likely to be women buying scent for their men who won't buy it for themselves anyway. Unless she came up with that whole “Instinct” thing anyway, as seems likely, in which case you should discount her every word and go with your, uh, instinct.

More action saints

The venerable Cracked magazine's website has a post up about six saints who had astounding physical prowess. This fits in nicely with my previous video game proposal, on which I have heard exactly zero reaction from the hierarchy. An opportunity is being missed, one which could feature St. Olaf swinging a great big two-handed broadsword in 3D, and it is a pity. As far as I know, the only video game saints one can play with today are the ones based in New Orleans.

Odd that there's no mention of St. George drilling a dragon. It's just that ugly "legend" label keeping that boy down.

10 tips for those let go from finance

With the number of high finance executives being downsized from Shearson Loeb Rhodes Pierce Fenner and Smith Mae Mac and the like, it is time to think of ways in which the affected workers can make a positive step forward in their lives. Here's the list I came up with:

1. If you were an experience in Structured Investment Vehicles, get yourself to Detroit and see whether they might be able to use you in a new line of concept cars of the same name.
2. Employers are probably completely swamped with resumes from your colleagues right now, trying to figure out whether all the acronyms are real or made up. Hire yourself out as a resume reader to help filter the good ones from the bad.
3. Contribute a foreword to a new published edition of Memoirs of Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds.
4. Take your skills offshore to bring the home of universal homeownership to the common Chinese citizen. Learn Mandarin first.
5. Don't you know there's a crisis in the health care industry in this country?! Get a set of scrubs on, pull on some surgical gloves, and learn to do something useful, anything!
6. If you are still occupying space in an office, open up an account at Etsy and sell the crafts you make from leftover office supplies.
7. Form a monastic order with your coworkers, roam midtown Manhattan begging for alms and doing good works. Call yourselves the Mad Mendicants.
8. Get yourself to the State of Alaska, where all citizens are granted an annual stipend from the state, making it the ideal socialist paradise. And IT folks: while you're up there in the frigid north, you could make a living running computer datacenters with natural rack cooling provided by the Arctic air, and piping the warm air to heat dwellings. Ample diesel supplies to power the backup generators are available as well.
9. Entrepreneurship may be a good option. See the picture for one concept.
10. Appear as a contestant on a new reality show for mortgage insurance specialists forced to live by their wits and set in the jungles of Papua New Guinea. One challenge could involve defrauding the local denizens of their swine and roots. Attire: formal business wear.

Zippers have all the fun

On Boingboing, they are having a discussion about tritiated zipper pulls mostly concentrating on legal issues.

Maybe one could buy up a bunch of these (and rifle scopes, etc.), burn them up, and condense out the heavy heavy water?