Locker room talk

Lockers,
originally uploaded by milkfish.

(Composed while locked out of Blogger by the nefarious spam-prevention robots.)

I have been spying on conversations in the men's locker room over the last few months and present these excerpts as close to verbatim as I have been able to record them.

• 6/5/07 Man those f*cking ridiculous people with their f*cking ellipticals (lipids?)


• 5/22/07 One man owns a restaurant and works 10am to close 3-4 days a week. Another has a friend with a restaurant, works 12noon to 2am six days a week, no AC in the kitchen with hot ovens.


• 5/19/07 Incoming phone call regarding an appointment, nature unspecified. “No, it wasn’t for this Saturday…next Friday is okay…do you want us to call?...no, it’s okay, it’s all part of what we do.” Pause to pull on shorts. “Okay, next Friday. Congratulations on the new baby.”


• 5/15/07 An account of an accident while stopped at a light, a “lady” rear-ended him while he was taking his kid to school. Noww has to go to the auto body shop.


• 4/14/07 A fellow talking about one Christmas Eve years ago, when he was called in during a storm which had dropped 8” of slow to operate on a fellow who’d been out riding his bike. Said he’d needed some wine for dinner, and knew he was too drunk to drive to the liquor store. Claimed he wasn’t stupid, spoke six languages. Just before putting him under, told the patient that if he really knew all the languages he claimed, to talk to the Chinese anesthesiologist. A conversation in fluent Mandarin ensued.


• 4/10/07 A discussion of the old days when the Atlantic City casinos were something special.


• 4/8/07 With a Tenafly bike-riding club during the warm-weather, which has organized a trip to New Mexico this year as incentive


• 3/20/07 Bragging that his resting heart rate is 66 “after 20 ounces of Starbucks.”