Funerals were really something back then

This is was the figurehead on the funeral carriage that took Lord Nelson's body from where it was lying in state to his resting place at St. Paul's Cathedral in London. The thing is a smidge over a meter long and is supposed to evoke the nautical figureheads on ships of the day. It makes one wonder just why it is that figureheads have vanished off of modern vehicles (even including their miniature cousins, hood ornaments) pretty much everywhere except in Texas, and whether they could be brought back someday. Perhaps it would take the death of a national hero the way Nelson was regarded in his day, migrating downmarket from the funeral pomp into daily life once more starting with luxury vehicles. Soon everybody would have their own personal talisman guiding the way as they thunder down the road. Boats too.

SQL nerd alert

Drop,
originally uploaded by mag3737.

It's Mr. DROP TABLE;

A list where you'll find the Carpenters to be ironically absent

The account of the life and times of the band Led Zeppelin is titled Hammer of the Gods. But haven't you wondered about the rest of the shop? Now, for the first time, the roster can be revealed!

Tool	Band
Crescent Wrench of the Gods	Heart
Measuring Tape of the Gods	Kiss
Block Plane of the Gods	Devo
Bandsaw of the Gods	The Ramones
Rasp of the Gods	The Stooges
Carpenters' Pencil of the Gods	No Doubt
First Aid Kit of the Gods	Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young
Home Depot Charge Account of the Gods	Jimmy Buffett

A post for the informed customer

When considering a major purchase such as a router, it is important to consider the pluses and minuses of the different offerings. So as a public service, here's a rundown of two major manufacturers' offerings.

Cisco ASE 1000 series	Festool OF 1010, OF 1400, OF 2200, MFK700
Processing power in 1U format	Dust collection
High availability	Depth adjustment
Scalable service intelligence	Guide rail compatibility
Granular real-time policy and traffic management	Tool-less changes
Quantum Flow Processor	Ratcheting collet
Scalable and flexible packet processing	MMC electronics
Unified firewall	Engineering & Design

I was a little disappointed that neither vendor addressed the really important questions posed by average consumers: Does it come in teal or in burgundy? What kinds of questions will you get from TSA when you try to bring on onto an airplane? Which one would reach the ground first when dropped from a second-storey window?

Where to put that fat leg

The Fat Leg Cable Table has four legs, one of which enlarged and hollowed to accept cables for electronics. [Via Make.]

It seems to me that a more elegant solution would be to use a pedestal table design instead. If one objects to having the cables routed to the center of the table, there are double pedestal designs as well. The pedestals are already hollow, so you just have to put an appropriate-sized hole in the table top and Bob's your uncle.

Forest-grown computer case

I saw this site describing how to grow your own wooden furniture (via Wists) and came up with the idea of a grown computer enclosure.

Take one tower enclosure and spray all surfaces with a good coating of rustproof paint. Better yet, choose one made of something rustproof such as aluminum. I'd take off all the actual electronics (power supply and that sort of thing) because they won't want to be out in the elements. All the case penetrations (connectors, ventilation openings, slots for disks and USB, and all that kind of thing) have to be covered over, perhaps with dowels sticking out, so that the plant matter doesn't pierce through where it isn't wanted and so that you can get into these locations afterwards. Also, you will want to plan ahead and cut the bottom out of the case so that you'll be able to get back inside in a few years when the sides are covered with wood. Fill in the cavity with something like a plastic bag that won't degrade so that things won't grow up into there and get in the way.

Now take the prepared case outside and set it where a suitable species of tree will climb up the sides of the case. It seems to me that a strangler fig would do well, and would also make a good talking point when you are through. So go to a rainforest, take a seed from a fig, and set it gently on top of the case, so that its roots will cascade all around and entomb the case. Wait a few years, then the tree down to size. Allow the "knotted and twisted wood" to cure, and then clean it all out from the open bottom and the prepared penetrations. Finish the wood, then install the electronics using the mounting points on the metal case inside.

It might be prudent to set up a few cases at one time this way, in case some of them encounter problems along the way. But if some of them work out, I think they'd look pretty cool!