Is it just me?

Spider On The Track,
originally uploaded by brentbat.

Or does anyone else look at this picture and think "good heavens man, what have you been drinking?"

Four quick ones

• Computer keyboards have those little bumps to help touch-typists know whether they have their hands positioned properly. (They have a rude nickname.) Why hasn't the same idea happened on keyboard instruments such as pianos? Furthermore, by way of analogy with ergonomic computer keyboards, couldn't someone devise a curved piano/organ keyboard to make it easier for the musician to reach the very high and low notes?
• Citigroup and Morgan Stanley to merge former rival brokerage services. The new company is going to be called Morgan Stanley Smith Barney, but I think it misses an opportunity to resurrect an old brokerage unit name associated with Morgan Stanley and call it instead Dean Witter Reynolds Smith Barney. Or was the Dean Witter marque too downmarket? I know it is probably too late to cancel the order for office stationery, but still.
• If we do successfully downsize our military operations in Iraq, maybe we can take some of those remotely controlled Raptor drones and set them up with rocket-propelled paintball armament to have simulated aerial warfare. There could robotic convoy of vehicles or something that a second player could control while the first player attempts to splat the target in one particular vehicle, without causing collateral damage.
• Among religious believers, it is often customary to say a prayer before sharing a meal. It seems to me to make even more sense to say a prayer before partaking in intoxicating drink. Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy libations, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. One could be more elaborate, with some mention of avoiding drinking and driving or whatever. Perhaps some public service spots could help to popularize this new custom.

Budweiser? Yes, Budweiser, for your consideration

Yesterday a bunch of us went out to lunch and I had the opportunity to sample a brew I had not had before. Here are some very subjective tasting notes.

Venue: Charlie Brown's steakhouse restaurant (Old Tappan, NJ). One person in our party remarked that the room seemed a bit warmer than we had expected, given past experiences elsewhere and the cold temperatures outside.

Under test: Budweiser American Ale, 16 oz., on draft.

About the name: Fox News was nowhere within sight at the time, though there were little popup cards on the table with a picture of Uncle Sam in his customary posture. It seems to me the kind of thing that every native son should be having this week into next if the opportunity presents itself.

Color: Amber, distinctly tending toward the red end of the spectrum, contrasting greatly with the pale insipid straw color of the Bud Light one of my lunch companions was having.

Body: Of medium density, though not really what anyone would consider heavy. The appearance was slightly cloudy, leading one to speculate to what degree it has been subjected to filtration. The person sitting to my right complained that the glasses were cold enough to support ice crystals, which while exaggerated might have something to do with the sensation of specific gravity.

Head: Almost minimal, maybe 0.5 cm on top, which is more or less incidental. It seems to me that with heavier bodied beers (porters and stouts) the head has a stronger influence on the taste of the brew by skimming off some of the ingredients, but not in this case.

Temperature: Rather cold, with a good deal of condensation on the outside of the glass.

First impression: The first sip had an impact that was somewhat substantial, clean without being soapy, just a slight amount toward the acid as is typical of many ales. No metallic or harsh notes noted, making it seem like more of a European style beer with a sort of elegance.

Hops: Were there hops? I didn't notice too much of the puckery feel, but there must have been some of this going on. Someone asked me how the beer was and I said that it tasted "red," kind of the way it looks, though not as much as that other ersatz European-style product, Killian's. Is it caramel?

Finish: Pretty clean and short-lived. It was not one of those kinds that had me reaching for the plate of salty things from the salad bar to counteract the aftertaste.

Food pairing: It might not be substantial enough to stand on its own, but seemed to go pretty well with the grilled tuna salad I was having, better than a lager would have I think. If you were having something heavy like a cheeseburger or a Sicilian pizza it probably would be overwhelmed flavor-wise.

Satisfaction: I only had the one, but I am a lightweight that way. But beer is not the kind of thing that really makes me want to have a number of rounds.

Aftereffects: Conviviality enhanced, somewhat toward the silly end of the spectrum. It was not so strong as to have obscured my memories of what went on or led to anything I much regret. I had a strong coffee about an hour later, much appreciated. A drink always makes me want to lie in bed a little longer when the alarm goes off the next morning.

Keep out of reach of children, and adults

I am not one for sugary sweet drinks, especially not those of the alcoholic sort (more of a Scotch whisky type, really). For those of you of different tastes, consider this rainbow-colored hootch made by mixing vodka with Skittles. I doubt that the two days of steeping added much to the color depth, so perhaps one could accelerate the process and mix up a batch in an afternoon, I don't know. Make sure you're not too close to a flame, by the way.

Probably one could achieve similar results substituting Jolly Rancher hard candy. I think it might eliminate the need for filtration, perhaps. Until I did a search, I had not appreciated the fact that this would not make it the first Jolly Rancher alcoholic drink concoction, nor even the second.

Keepin' it holy

I was looking through my logs today and saw that my post on holy drinking water and other products was linked to on the news page of the site itself (under Blogs). The company in question is Wayne Enterprises of San Joaquin county in California, which is not to be confused with this one or this one which are both notably drinking-water-free concerns.

St Christopher,
originally uploaded by Talleyrand.

This news arrives just as I was wondering why car companies don't marketed a model specifically toward Catholics concerned with freedom from peril on the road. The Cadillac St. Christopher I have in mind would have not only the usual dashboard figurine, but this hood ornament and a trunk medallion, just to be extra-sure. I am sure that the legal department would want to include a disclaimer about the presumed safety of driving your St. Christopher through raging streams. The owner would be advised to consult his or her local cleric to have the vehicle blessed according to a regular maintenance schedule — at least every July 25th.

The moon in your cup

I think OnLatte might have the best idea of all for consumable lunar art. The idea is to imprint a picture of the full moon on top of your latte, and as you drink it down, the eclipse would advance.

previously

Expanding the holy product line

I heard about the company producing Holy Drinking Water on the morning news today.

To that end, Wayne Enterprises is distributing Holy Drinking Water - a half-liter of reverse-osmosis purified water bottled by a Stockton company and blessed by clergy. So far, the blessings have come from Catholic and Anglican priests, but the plan is for clergy from any faith that honors holy water to offer blessings.

I turned to Pam and said "Maybe they could also produce a line of fertilizer...."

Updated: The manufacturer's stamp of approval has come, at least as far as I am concerned.

As befits the name

I feel a little bad for people who stumble on this blog searching for things like sf fashion heavy water and heavy water clothing only to find a almost complete lack of deuterium or tritium oxide content. No doubt they leave in disgust, never to return again. So I have decided to put up one modest heavy water posting by way of appeasement.

You can buy jewelry that contains ordinary water (broken link) or holy water. From the right sources, it is possible to buy D₂O, at least in bulk, so by adapting the instructions on how to make a DNA necklace of your own, it should be possible to make a isotopically correct heavy water jewelry, the perfect gift for your own physics geek. Caution, deuterium oxide is reported to be poisonous in large quantities, so don't be swilling the stuff in mixed drinks, despite anything I may have written in the past. As for tritiated water, you will have to work a little harder because the world demand, the radioactivity, and the proliferation aspects limit worldwide shipments to only about 100 grams annually, so one would be hard-pressed to obtain enough T₂O to supply a good-sized jewelry operation. I am not sure it would be a good idea to encapsulate the stuff in a thin layer of glass, because it is something you probably do not want to ingest, any more than one would go around wearing mercury-filled jewelry

---

This may be the second scifaiku I ever wrote, back in 1998:

to impress
they spike cocktails with
heavy water

And so the circle is completed.

I saw this edgy biohazard-themed laundry bag at Realm Dekor and thought that while this was cool (along with their shower curtain and bath towels, they really should have pushed it a smidge further and put the crab-symbol thingy on other household items.

Barware:



Tableware:



Major appliances:



(I thought the bright red would be a nice touch as well.) You could either intend it ironically, or as an actual service to your houseguests. One also might want to accessorize and expand on the theme with a nice set of

Monday, October 16, 2006

Attention, Gnarls Barkley

How about a latte art remix of Crazy? I think it should be possible.

Rothko cocktails

(broken image)

Originally uploaded by Jacky The Ripper.

I was thinking about colored drinks recently and the subject reminded me of the Mark Rothko exhibit I saw at New York's Whitney some years back. This classic tequila sunrise looks not too different from Rothko's Orange and Yellow

and I thought that it would be an interesting theme party for art lovers to have pousse cafe style cocktails which reproduce some of his other work. For instance, White over Red looks like cream over grenadine, float some blackberry brandy over the top and you've got Purple-Red-White. Not that I'd want to down either of those, but this is art!

To show off the drinks to their best advantage, one could steal an idea from Peter Hewitt and devise tumblers with rectangular flat plate glass sides.

Brews for the 21st century

I was sitting on a NJ Transit bus yesterday for two hours trying to get into NYC and needed something to pass the time. This is what I came up with, up till the time that the rumbling and jolting upset my guts so much that I had to stop typing on my Treo.

Beer Names

• Lembas Lambic


• Fu Manchu Export Brew


• Danelaw Golden Ale


• Rinpoche Tulku Lager


• Cruel World Bitter


• Paradox Black and Not-Black


• Birnam Wood March Porter


• Elven Promise Entdraught (with HGH)


• Thief in the Night Rapture Red


• Holy Oak Latesummer Wheat


• Redshift Classic


• Reichskristallnacht Hefeweizen


• Nantucket Chowdah Dahk


• Darkside Obsession Stout


• Cerveza Especial Dos Mamas


• Dr. Bronner's Semi-Cogent Light

None of which, of course, may be carried on any US or British air carrier today.