Showing posts with label irony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label irony. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Would it indeed not be nice?

The newspaper today brings a story of an engaged couple who had been delivered on the same day by the same man. They plan to marry on that same date on the calendar (coincidentally the same date noted by others for its auspiciousness) and in so doing will have only one to remember for future birthdays and anniversaries.

Which makes me think: wouldn't it be great if you were an obstetrician to have a side business as a matchmaker? It's hard enough to keep track of one's classmates, let alone strangers in the same maternity ward you landed in, but the doctor could provide a service for people who would like to meet other people they were infants together with, complete with pictures (albeit pictures as newborns). To help keep track of the individuals as they grow up, the services of the State might be called upon over the years, all very discreetly, of course. Also, given the right circumstances, the couple in question need not get involved and an arranged union could be set up, saving endless hours on the dating scene and providing an economic boost at the optimum time based on not only traditional means but also the local and economic prospect, benefiting as many people as possible. Given the right data from personality measurement tools, the pair could be incentivized toward the optimum lines of work, the best location to set up residence, the correct number and timing of production of offspring, proper observation of individual health maintenance programs based on actuarial tables, and in-depth counseling to ward off whatever disharmonies or inefficiencies encountered in daily life. Their two artfully managed lives without bounds could glide smoothly as if on precision bearings machined to exacting tolerances.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

The most ironically named species ever

Taxidermy Mouse
Taxidermy Mouse,
originally uploaded by Vanderlin.
was the Indefatigable Galapagos Mouse.

Friday, July 20, 2007

My take on the story of the day

Bullfighters are people who fight bulls, right? Well, I think that dogfighters ought to be people who try to take on man's best friend in the ring.

To make it something like a fair fight, the dogfighter should be equipped the same way as his opponent - claws and teeth only. Anything less equitable would seem to me to be cowardly.

Evil dogs.
Evil dogs.,
originally uploaded by This Year's Love.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Why "Burt," you ask?

I gave him the name because it was the first implausibly American-sounding name that came to mind.

Some of my flashbacks to working in Tech Support are not so different from this.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

For the den

Mounted Tyrannosaur head (broken link). Good, but I think I might prefer a mounted grey instead.

Monday, December 18, 2006

For the record

I saw this edgy biohazard-themed laundry bag at Realm Dekor and thought that while this was cool (along with their shower curtain and bath towels, they really should have pushed it a smidge further and put the crab-symbol thingy on other household items.

Barware:



Tableware:



Major appliances:



(I thought the bright red would be a nice touch as well.) You could either intend it ironically, or as an actual service to your houseguests. One also might want to accessorize and expand on the theme with a nice set of

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Sterilized for your convenience

I was looking at this transparent German knife block (broken link) at about the same time I was reminded of Laura Splan's Blood Scarf and devised this hybrid.

The red fluid would be dyed grain alcohol, sealed into the space between the clear acrylic panels, which would serve to help sterilize the cutting edges as well as providing the festive color accent. You would fill the thing with a big syringe, which you would also use periodically as the alcohol evaporates.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Carnival of carnivals

I have only slowly become aware of the blog carnival (broken link) meme, wherein links on a particular topic or theme are solicited and collected by an organizer, then published on a blog of the organizer or of one of the participants. The first Carnival (Carnival of the Vanities (broken link)) is still going after four years, but many others have had trouble establishing themselves and have been allowed to die off.

Undeterred, I present my own list of proposed blog carnivals:








Carnival ofTopic/theme
VenomInvective and abusive postings.
Copyright ViolationIllegal downloads, scans, rips.
Self-Absorbed AngstCris de coeur from everyone's inner adolescent.
SpawnPictures of your children or grandchildren.
Inappropriate BehaviorScenes from all yesterday's parties.
Ironic ForeshadowingPostings by people who plan to commit sensational criminal acts.
Is This Thing On?Your very first blog post.


My apologies if any of these have already been done.