According to All My Accusers, or A Tawdry Jaunt through the Multiverse: a rap sheet in ten criminal acts.
According to this search on Google, I may have been found guilty of the following:
(Gross Bodily Harm?) while staying at a North London hostel for the mentally ill.
I reflected on my past yesterday while sitting in traffic court, and have repented of all my misdeeds, vowing to make a fresh start.